My (first) Year of YES!

Part 4

So if you’re feeling exhausted by hearing the word “yes” then good, because now we’re mostly going to talk about “no”.

If you say yes all the time, your no means nothing.  No is a boundary.  When you say yes all the time to please people, who suffers?  Answer: you.  Guilt is a powerful tool and is usually the main reason why people say yes when they really mean no.  Consider this: would you have guilt if you said no to attending your cousin-in-law’s wedding that you really didn’t want to go to?  Sure...if you’re a people pleaser.  But also consider the alternative: would you have guilt if you were at the wedding and thinking about all of the things you could be doing instead?  Would you become resentful for not making time to do things you love because you put yourself last?  Hell yes you would!  So, if you’re going to have guilt either way, why not drop the guilt altogether and allow yourself to say no to the things that you don’t actually want to do.  If you are afraid to say no, you are giving some of your power away every time you agree to something that you didn’t want  in the first place.

Consider who it is that you are actually disappointing when you say no.  

It’s usually some family member...but are they going to cut all ties with you?  If the answer to that is actually yes, you might be better off without that relationship in your life.   

Are they going to get upset? If so, will their opinion of you change your mind or affect your actions?  People’s opinions of you are normally reflections of what they actually think of themselves...not to mention that a life devoted to pleasing everyone is absolutely impossible.  

Or is it possible that they won’t even care at all?  That you created an entire scenario in your head about how someone is going to be devastated that you declined but in reality, it’s not even remotely true (hint: it’s possible).

The word “no” can be as powerful or, in some cases, even more powerful than “yes.”  Try saying yes to things that fill you up with love and no to things that deplete you or don’t feel right.  Finding your true yes and your true no is a huge part of the journey to self-discovery.  The key is to be aware of where you can utilize the strength of “no” more often in your voyage.

So tell me, where can saying no improve your life?

My name is Anna VanAgtmael, and I am a certified yoga instructor with a passion for yoga, travel, and connecting with others.

I believe in trying everything once. My values lie in collecting memories over things. Though we desire adventure and authentic experiences, naturally our fear holds us back.

My ambition is to inspire and encourage you to unmask your fears and jump into the unknown.

Anna VanAgtmael | Yoga Enthusiast | Trip Planning Wizard